Lex Barrie

@lex_barrie

I once had a teacher tell me, “Don’t plan for one path, plan for many. Because you are never going to stay on one path your entire life”. Part of me knew they were right, but I have always wanted to be sure of what I was getting myself in to.

I have heard many stories of people making decisions later in life. Sometimes they make decisions for the better, sometimes for the worse. It’s those stories of mistakes that make me question whether I should jump into life with both feet or just a toe to test it first.

I know mistakes have to be made for us to learn. I understand that overtime we will all make mistakes because they are apart of life. No human is perfect after all! But it’s the judgment we face when we make those mistakes that I fear more than anything.

Growing up, I thought if you made a mistake, you just weren’t good enough. I was a fast learner, so loads of things I did as a kid, I picked up on quick. If I didn’t, these assumptions would arise. If I could do so many things so well, then the only reasonable explanation for my inability was that I simply couldn’t.

But when my teacher told me this, all these other lessons about mistakes making you a better human or how you shouldn’t care what others think, all rose up.

I know that one day, I am going to do great things. I am going to continue to make myself proud of my accomplishments. But until that day comes, I have to keep making mistakes. Part of me wishes that I could see my future now. That way, I can makes sure I get to the one I want. I wish sometimes, that my future was happening now.

On the other hand though, I know that one day I am going to look back and wish I was right here, writing this post.

It’s a complicated relationship, the one I have with my desire for planning and getting everything sorted out before it happens. Sometimes it’s great and gives me great success. Other times, it leads me here, wondering what path I should take to get to exactly where I need to be.

I suppose one day, I will find out.

I suppose one day, we all will.

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