Life

With university applications around the corner, I sit here in this lamp lite room wondering when it will all be over. And yet at the same time, I can’t wait to start the process. It has been months of preparation, with drawings and painting and writing to make my portfolio shine to me.

Of course there was Christmas and New Years and drama at work which held me back but I want nothing more than to see the results of those applications in my inbox. Or in the mailbox, however they want to send it to me.

In case anyone is wondering, I have faith that I will get into at least one of the two universities I have chosen. Both would be fabulous, but one would be enough. I love art and music and history and want to preserve it all for the future. And to do that, I would need to work in a museum.

I have mentioned it so many times though, those programs that I want to get into. I am not sure if they will be the ones but I suppose that’s the way life works. You don’t know until you get there.

But it’s 2019 now, isn’t it? So I suppose anything could happen. This will be the year where the sun will shine one day, then maybe pour rain the next. You just never know.

I don’t worry too much about that though, it’s not necessary to listen to the drumming of your inner demons trying to talk you out of an unknown future. Especially if it’s because you are scared.

This will be the year of great things. We just have to keep saying that in order to keep our spirits high. That way, if something does go wrong, we can deal with it.

I had a psychic come up to me at work a few weeks back. She looked into my eyes and told me a man on the other side wanted me to know that he loves me dearly and that everything will be okay. I knew when she said it that it was my grandfather. The issue though was that I didn’t know which one. And she wouldn’t tell me.

I believed her though. And maybe it was a “in the moment” thing, where the woman somehow knew that that was all I needed to hear. Maybe it wasn’t my grandfather at all. But I wanted to believe that it was, and it helped me get through that stressful day at work.

Really, it saved me from a mental breakdown.

The point is that it raised my spirits when I wasn’t sure how to do it myself.

On Christmas day, we opened presents as a family and I saw a larger box with my name on it. When it was handed to me I was excited to see the contents, but had no idea what to expect. When I opened the wrapping paper though, two little black eyes stared back at me.

It was a giant white teddy bear that was covered in fluffy fur with a knitted scarf around his tiny neck. I grabbed it and held onto him the rest of the day. In the spur of the moment, I almost started to cry.

I had asked for it, because snuggling teddy bears relieves my stress. Something about the innocent little face and soft fur just makes you want to sit back and fall into a careless sleep. Funny thing is, I have him sitting in my lap right now.

Roosevelt says “Hello” by the way 😉

I want to make this year great. So with my family behind me and my spirits high I ask you, who could possibly stop me?

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